I write for money

Back to the life of employment—although I must say, this work-from-home, telecommute business takes the cake as far as jobs go. For the first week, I was simply referring to myself as a freelance writer/blogger for an unnamed company, but the specificities of the job are what make it interesting. Plus, I already told my mom, who of course was wondering if she could read my articles. I told her she probably would rather not.

The most accurate way to describe what I do would be: I am a sex-blogger. I write blogs/articles/FAQs for an online company that sells sex toys and lingerie, and you know, that kind of stuff.  The purpose of it all is to sell sell sell, of course, so I have to promote their products within the articles. Recently, they also asked me what I would charge to also write product descriptions. Ha! Hot commodity, right here. Or something like that.

How the hell did I acquire this job? I scoured Craigslist’s telecommute writing jobs out of every big (ish) city in the United States. I applied to as many as I could, considering my skill set, and this is the first and only one that got back to me. I sent a sample article after snooping around their website, and after some vague responses from a company manager, it seemed iffy whether or not I would actually get paid, so I was reluctant to write more articles. But I did, because it doesn’t take that much time, and it’s not like I was overloaded with other opportunities. Once I sent that to the manager, payment options were discussed, (PayPal or issuing checks) and things were more solidified. Now I’ve begun to receive lists of assignments, and at twenty bucks a pop, I’m in business. If they’ll let me, I’ll write at least 5 of these a week (I doubt they want/need much more than that), and I’ll make enough money to keep the rest of my savings intact. Buenos Aires is kind of expensive for South America, but it’s still South America. One dollar equals four pesos. Maybe I’ll be able to go out to lunch once in awhile and not have to worry about spending the next week eating only bread and drinking water. Haha, just kidding. I will always drink wine with my bread.

The best part is, I get to do all of this from my laptop, at home. I wrote an article sitting out on the terrace the other day! Just a little FAQ on lubricants, in case you’re interested, all the while working on my tan. Lubes are one of the tamer topics I’ve covered, though. You don’t even want to know what an anal hook is. For that matter, neither do I, but I’m getting paid. And I get to throw the ball with Luna between paragraphs.

I haven’t used much, if any of this stuff, so I have to do a bunch of research. But it’s research—research is interesting. Understanding the psychology behind bondage toys and role-playing games is necessary when writing an article titled: The Finer Points of Spanking. I almost forgot to mention an essential component of my job. I have to write from the perspective of a pre-constructed character they’ve developed. At first I found this a bit stifling to my creativity, but as it turns out, this is much easier than coming up with my own fake persona. Easier equals faster equals more money. The style of writing is also really casual and colloquial. No sounding “too smart” or it will turn off readers/shoppers.

A grad school professor of mine said she’s glad to know my MFA in poetry is paying off.

I suppose it is.  Heheh.

**p.s.  Don’t you love my slightly tweaked blog deisgn? All credit goes to my resident digital design and layout expert, Brandon. He is the best.