1 cup = 240ml

i didn't move to buenos aires on a whim. i thought i had a plan, which only now do i realize was the rough draft of a plan. had i looked into it more, i would have discovered that the jobs for english teachers in buenos aires are plentiful (ish) from march to december, and then summer hits. the weather is hot and muggy and this is not the united states with its abundant air conditioning and overly ambitious attitude. the culture here is much more relaxed than the U.S., so when it is too hot to do anything, many people opt in the direction of not doing anything. i'm not saying this to place judgment on argentineans, despite the fact that it's caused my "plan" to unravel. if anything, i'm jealous. i want it all---the air conditioning AND the lax culture. but seriously, why am i saying it? i think it's because i'm starting to realize what a relief it is that the teaching jobs didn't fall into my lap.

i like buenos aires. i like experiencing the cultural differences and the language barrier and the architecture. i even like to see myself in the face of hardship. for so long i'd dreamed of living abroad, and now here i am, living abroad. the reality is that i already miss the united states, my home. i could list all the little and big aspects that i miss, but that feels tedious. instead, i will say that moving here was a great idea because i had to do it. if i didn't, then for the rest of my life, there would be an emptiness, a sense of regret about it. i like buenos aires, but i don't want to stay here forever. i don't even want to stay here for a year. in march, i have (mostly) decided that i will go back to the states, live in portland.
why this seems like a good idea: if i can't find a job, then i will be depleting my savings, and march is the cutoff before my savings aren't so low that i can't buy a plane ticket home and start a life somewhere (ie portland). even if i find a job, it will most likely be freelance writing on the internet. the pay is just ok and not reliable. (maybe i'd have money to travel!)i will likely have a workable manuscript ready to send out in applications for fellowships or maybe even for publication. i am confident in my ability to write a lot of quality work between now and march. the bonus is that i'll have missed winter, back in time for yet another summer.

of course moving back to the states with little money means that i will have to work as a server again. i've always made plenty of money as a server, and unless i stay at the same restaurant for too long, i don't hate it as much as i sometimes say i do. i will only be temporary, i hope. maybe by that time i'll be an expert at landing freelance writing gigs and i can supplement my income/resume with that work. aside from some casual thoughts of fellowships and PhD programs, that's as far as the new plan has gone.